This is one of those weepy, feeling overwhelmed days, the ones where you just want to curl up in a corner and die. This morning I was actually being really nice about waking him up andwe get in the car so I can go to work, and he starts yelling at me about how he hates driving, about how now that I’m getting ANOTHER job he’s going to have to take me there and all this. And all I can think at that point is, I’m getting another job so you don’t have to, and you’re complaining? Didn’t start my day off very nicely. Throughout the day things got worse. My mom called me and asked if I will go to Busch Gardens with them on Saturday for my sisters birthday, which is today, and my dad came by asking me to go to dinner with them tonight, and to the FMBC campout on Saturday, I told Casey that I would have the scanning don tonight, and since I for some reason can’t say the word no I went to dinner, luckily my dad paid, I got home at 7:00 and started trying to get the scanner running on my desktop, and have since frustrated myself to tears trying to get my pc to recognize the printer as a scanner. And then somewhere between getting off of work and going to dinner I about crushed two of the new buses. I can’t go with my mom no Saturday because I don’t have money, hence the second job. I need help with this scanner and Casey said he had another way to do it and then I went to ask and he’s busy on the xbox again. I have to have this done this week so I can start my other job next week, and so I don’t hear Freddy bitching about it anymore. I’m going to get through this and everything will be fine, I’ll start working the other job on top of the one I’ve got. get up at 7:15 am every day, go to the first job, take a nap at lunch, leave there at 5:00 pm, ride to bh with my dad, change into uniform at his house, jog to the other job, work there from 6:00 pm to midnight, wait for Amber to finish up at 1:30 am, ride home with her, get home, clean what I can of the house before I pass out, go to sleep and somehow find time for a shower and a meal in between, get up and do it all over again. So about 5 1/2 hours of sleep everyday during the week. Then weekends get here. On those I’ll probably work in the mornings in BH, and if I work those nights I’ll be working on the buses during the day, or cleaning what I can of the house. Someone needs to tell me I’m strong and I can do this, and that they are proud of me for at least trying.

On the bright side, my roses from valentines are still very beautiful. They make me smile even though I am allergic to flowers, smiling is a good thing, I need to do that more often. And I didn’t have to cook dinner tonight.