I’m so sick

I am so tired right now, but I have to clean. I’m also a tad bit drunk. I have to clean, Not that I want to, even though I’m ridiculously stressed out over what might happen in the next few days. I don’t know if we are ok, I don’t know if we are still fighting, all he’s said to me in the past two days involved what is for dinner and rides to work. I just ran spell-check on this and found out that ok is supposed to be capitalized, but I like it lowercase, so I’m leaving it. Writing in this makes me feel better because K.C. doesn’t want me talking to Mike, or anyone else for that matter about what goes on between us, but I can’t talk to him about it. He doesn’t want me talking to him right now. I need to get it out though. Dinner’s in the oven and I’m kind of in the middle of scrubbing the floor in between beers, and getting me head straight again. I don’t want to lose him. I haven’t felt this way about anyone besides Collin, and that died a few years ago. I want this one to last and I will do anything to keep it. Even though I am completely on edge all the time, my boss has been a bitch all week, I don’t want anymore roomates even if we get rid of the one we have, and I just feel tired all the time. I’m ready for the long haul uphill with twice my weight in baggage. everyone tells me I’m an idiot for it, but I’m not one to give in to peer pressure. If I was I’d be done by now. My mom raised me right.Even though I like drugs, alcohol and sex. Sorry mom, those were things that weren’t talked about in my house growing up. Time for another beer and the rest of the floor to get clean…. Bummer.