Pulling a curve ball..

Sorry, no sad old stories now. This is a regular vent blog today.

Why does her name just send me into hyperventilation? Every time I hear him say her name ”Hope” I want to just scream. Literally. I want to scream as loud as I can just to shut the memories up. I swear I walked about 2 miles just pacing the floor making dinner tonight. I was talking to Sean on AIM and I heard Casey say her name, talking to her. Even though he was a bit angry sounding at the time, he was still talking to her. If she got hit by a bus and died, I’d piss on her grave. I swear to god I have never hated anyone as much as I hate her. Not just for what she did, I’ll man up and say yeah. I’m very jealous of the little cunt. She has gotten what I would die for. A ring, regret over treating her that way, apologies, tears, history, and his heart. That bitch still has it. I can hear it when they are talking over the headset on the 360 that he loves talking to her. He still loves her. Almost had him back, too. He’s told so many people that she is the only one that does it right. I can’t cook right, I can’t keep the house clean enough, I don’t make enough money, I don’t ever dress up, I bitch, I’m too clingy, I’m too much of a geek. Why is he with me? If she is soooooo much better than me, WHY! I will never get the heart that makes mine break everytime I hear him say her name. “hope”. Well guess what? I DONT HAVE ANY ANYMORE. OK. I’m done, I’ll go deal with it now, just like I do everything else.