My first..

OK . So maybe I’ll actually keep this blog going. I’ve had a few, but too many people I know started reading them.

To start from the beginning of all my troubles…..

There’a nothing in the world worse than having some one force themselves upon you. Now, that’s not to say some weren’t asking for it. But for the others, I fell every bit of your pain, and I am truly sorry for your loss, pain, and the long road to recovery.

   I was 12 years old. My parents were going through a nasty divorce and the court ordered marriage counciling. My aunt took us to church with her that night. I was in the building that they held youth group in on wednesdays and the youth pastor thought it would be a good night for a game of manhunt. And hunt he did. Stalked was more the word. He said it was just to make sure no one was going to pick on me, and he was the youth pastor, I trusted him. He motioned to me to come over to the other side of the building, said there was someone hiding back there. Noone was there but him. I was pulled into the janitors closet by my hair, a knife to my throat, and stripped from the waist down. I was, until then, clean and untouched. I didn’t even know what he was trying to do. All I knew was I was scared.

I’m glad that’s all I remember. I don’t want to emember more. That alone is enough to give me nightmares still. I swore after that that no one would be able to hurt me that way again. I didn’t know, or even think about, what could happen when you thought you were with friends….

But we will finish tomorrow.